Posted by: vftmom247 | 2013/11/07

Marriage isn’t for me…a follow-up of sorts

So the post I shared yesterday is one that has gone viral in the States. People voicing their favorable or unfavorable opinions, etc. It really struck home with me, though, since I am in and out of families’ daily lives so much. How much do married couples realize that they are living into their marriage vocation for each other, really? And how often and how consistently do we live into that vocation? I strive more consciously for it now, but when I was first married…? Yeah, right, whatever.

One important point that the author made was that if you do not live for your spouse, then it is so much easier to walk away. It is a struggle to walk away from Apple products if you are working for a Windows company, or vice versa. I am an Apple addict married to a Windows fan, so I know whereof I speak. But, there are people who give up on their marriage easier that their operating system! And that is not right. But the modern world tries to tell us that if something isn’t working right, don’t try to fix it; throw it out. Isn’t this taking the lazy way out?

Here in Germany, I see more and more people not even wanting to get married. They are perfectly fine living together, having kids together, but not wanting to make that final commitment. German readers- if this is due to some kind of tax penalty, please let me know! Because I don’t get it. From a purely selfish standpoint, don’t you want to have someone you can commiserate with at midnight during the baby years and the teen years??? From a more Catholic point of view, I am not sure I like the implications of “O.k., I am fine living with you and having a baby with you, but I don’t want to promise I’ll be with you the rest of my life.” What does this truly say about all involved parties? Maybe something along the lines of “If this doesn’t work out as I want it, I will throw you out”? Note all the “I ” usage. And the one ‘you’.

A marriage is not an operating system. A marriage is the starting point for a family. Not shared living space. Not something for only as long as it suits me. And marriage is most definitely not for me.

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